Friday, March 15, 2013

Adoption Update

The committee date was moved to March 12 (Dan's birthday).  It usually takes them 3 hours to decide. Technically, they have 24 hours to make the final decision, although it is rare that they take that long.

Well, I was driving with my mother from Chicago to Memphis on the 12th, so Dan was the one to get the call from our adoption worker.  They thought all families presented at committee had great strengths, and decided they needed to take the full 24 hours to decide.  It was a bit disappointing, because I was anticipating the decision all day and just wanted an answer.  At the same time, it was great to know that they were not making a rash decision, and reviewed each family thoroughly.  And I was also happy to hear that the other families were good, because if we were not chosen I wanted the boys to go to a great family.

We found out March 13th around 1 pm that we had been the selected family. Ah!!

It is insanely exciting...and a little scary.  I'm excited that they thought highly enough of our family to entrust 2 boys to us.  I'm excited that I potentially have 2 sons.  I'm excited to see Adalee and the boys grow up together.  There is a lot to be excited about.  Scary, only because nothing is final until it's legally final, and that always gives me a bit of anxiety. 

The boys are 3 and 5 years old (just turned 5 this month)  I still do not want to publicly post their names until after the transition into our home.

Here are a few questions you may have that I have gotten from others:

1.  Have we met them yet?  No.  We have never met them.  We have seen 2 pictures and that is all.  It is a very weird process, and, yes, I wish we could have met them before committee, but that is not how the process goes.

2.  When do they come home?  They have been in their current foster home for 1 yr and are attached to the foster parents.  It will be a slow transition.  We are hoping to meet them the week I get home, but they will not move in with us for maybe a month or more after the initial visit.

3.  How does Dan feel about it all?  He is very excited.  He has already started planning how he will insulate the garage and turn it into a playroom for the kids. He's cute :)  He has already started collecting "boy" toys, and pirate outfits.  He's anxious to meet them.

4.  Are you sure you can handle 2 boys?  This is a weird question to me.  We obviously would not be at the point we are at, if we didn't think we could "handle 2 boys".  Our adoption worker, after hours of interviews and stacks of paperwork, would not have approved us for 2 boys if she didn't think we were capable.  The committee would not have chosen our family if they felt we could not properly care for 2 boys.  It's a silly question to ask us at this point...and quite insulting, too. 

5.  How much does Adalee know about the adoption?  She knows we are adopting.  For the past year at bedtime we have been praying for whoever God has chosen for our family.  Some days she is very excited and talks about having siblings, and other days she says she does NOT want to be a sister.  She's a normal 5 year old, and it's going to be a transition for her, just as much as it will be for the boys.  If I was growing a child inside of me, she would have the same anxiety about becoming a sister.  We are doing our best to help her understand what is happening.

Luckily, we haven't been asked too many weird questions.  Mostly everyone we know is supportive, and we really, really appreciate that.  Thank you for all the prayers.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Adoption Committee

My initial intent was to start a separate blog, solely devoted to our adoption process, but that has not happened...obviously.  Instead, I rarely write about the adoption, and the posts I do write involving the subject are dispersed among other posts about fitness, family and ridiculousness.  Sorry.

Here is what has happened and what is currently going on:

Dec. 22nd - Home study was complete and we became certified
January 10- We were matched with 2 boys (brothers, 3 and 4 yrs old)

Once you are "matched" you get the children's bios, stating why they came into foster care, all family history that is known, education/special needs, etc.  After you read their bios, you tell the case worker if you are still interested in the children.  If you are, you then begin the process of collecting further info (talking to their foster parents, requesting school tests, sometimes even speaking to their teachers, doctor's reports...etc.) 

So, this has been going on since January.  Once you collect all information available, you then decide:
 A.  No longer interested/do not believe it is a good match for your family  or
 B.  Still interested and wanting to "go to committee" for the children

The phrase "going to committee" is a bit misleading, because Dan and I are not actually present at the committee meeting.  Our adoption worker is the one actually going and representing our family.  The children's case worker is at committee and has narrowed it down to the families that she feels would be best for the children.  Out of the many many home studies she received, she chose us as one of the best matches, which is very encouraging, since we were worried my health concerns would make it hard to get a match.  At committee they present our family to a panel of children advocates/social workers and they decide if we are the best match for the boys.

 There can, however, be up to 3 families total at the committee.  We do not know if there are 2 other families involved, we just know it is a possibility.  The reason I have refrained from getting too excited and spilling all the info is because there is still a chance we may not be chosen.  If we are chosen, we would begin visitations, and then they would move into our home.

After a lot of prayer, phone conversations with the foster mother, and conversations with each other, Dan and I decided we do want to "go to committee".  We just kept waiting for God to lead us in a certain direction; to show us any red flags that would make it clear it wasn't the best choice, or to open our hearts and minds to see that it very well could be a great match.  He did the latter, so we will continue on this journey and trust that if we are meant to be their parents we will be chosen, and if we are not, they will be placed with the right family. 

 I don't think it would be right for me to give any more information on the boys until we know if we are chosen, but I would love prayers and positive thoughts.   Committee should take place on March 14th and we will find out that day.