Doctor Update

So...many people know that I had some pretty scary complications with my pregnancy with Adalee.  To catch you up in case you were unaware, I have adult congenital heart disease, asthma and a pacemaker.  Those were present before my pregnancy.

 As if that's not enough, at 12wks pregnant I bled into my lungs and had to be MercyFlighted to  Portland and had an 8 hour lung embolization procedure. They were not sure what caused my blood vessels to, basically, burst, but they suspected it was the pregnancy. Although, with my medical history it could have been caused by a number of things.  I was not allowed to work, lift things, etc. for the rest of the pregnancy. 

During this lung embolism mess, I had to get 4 blood transfusions...and during the transfusions my blood produced an "antigen E"  Which means (in the most simplified terms) that it formed an antibody against the protein E that is found in certain blood cells.  Soooo what this means for me and having babies is, if my child carries this "E protein" in their blood my blood will attack the baby.  Adalee obviously did not carry this protein (thank God)

AND during my 8th month, I developed a heart arrythmia and had to be put on medication.  Adalee had to be delivered in Portland, which meant I had to go up there a month before the due date and live in an extended stay hotel until she was born. 

During the actual delivery I was not allowed to push at all, because they were afraid that the strain on my heart and lungs would cause A.  Heart failure or B. more bursting blood vessels in my lungs.  She was delivered by forceps 3 weeks early.  She was perfect.  I was perfect.  Everything went as beautifully as we could have hoped.  Thank you, Jesus! 

Ok, so now you are caught up.

We met with the perinatologist today to discuss the risks of having more children.  There are all of the risks of the last pregnancy, but it's even more complicated this time, because my lungs are not fully functioning because of the embolization (plus, the already present asthma) We run the risk of me bleeding into my lungs again, having a similar heart arrhythmia, or worse: complete heart failure. Or baby not making it to full term (Adalee was early, and women with heart/lung complications can go into very early labor if there is too much strain on their bodies)

 The chances of me dying during delivery are about 40%,  although they just made up this percentage because there are not other similar cases they can compare mine to.  Also, the whole "Anti E" thing is huge, because if Dan's blood tests positive for the E protein (we don't know if he has it yet) they will have to do an amniocentesis while I'm pregnant to test the baby's blood for it.  And IF the baby does carry it they will have to do an intrauteral (probably spelled that word wrong) blood transfusion on the fetus...through the umbilical cord...every week. 

Can you imagine the risk involved in giving a fetus a blood transfusion EVERY WEEK? And the cost of all this?!

It was almost comical hearing this woman talk.  In fact, Dan and I started laughing.  We stopped her and asked straight up "What is your honest opinion about us having more children?" 

She told us "We aren't really allowed to say 'don't have kids' or 'yes, have kids' but since you asked...this is one of the most complicated cases I've seen in a very long time.  If you did decide to get pregnant, it would not only be terrifying for the both of you, but for every single doctor involved.  Unless you have a strong, nagging desire in your hearts that is telling you you have to have more, I would absolutely not recommend it"

The risk of the Anti E, on top of the crazy medical issues I could possibly face, are just too much.  Dan and I had been leaning, very much so, towards not having any more of our own.  And we just wanted to have an open mind, because we know that God is bigger than all of these complications, which is why we were even considering having more and decided to have the consultation. 

But the more I prayed and thought about it I really felt good about the idea of not having any more biological children.  When I was sitting in the waiting room before our appointment I wasn't even hoping to hear we could have more.  Not that I wouldn't have wanted that, but my point is that I was completely content with whatever they would tell us.  And anyone that knows me even a little bit, knows that I have always wanted a million children and the thought of me not being able to have my own would have crushed me in the past.  God's really changed my heart and I feel so incredibly lucky just to have one child. The appointment was confirmation of what we already felt God telling us.

 It seems selfish of me to complain about not having more when, against all odds, I had Adalee.  There are so many couples who can't have any children and there are millions of children in the world who desperately need a family.  My heart has always been open to adoption and I really feel God moving us in that direction.  I'm excited to see where God leads us.  And, no, I'm not canceling out the possibility of God healing me and us having more.  I know that's always a possibility.  I'm content. And excited for the future, whatever it may be.