Snake In The Closet

So last night I looked out onto our patio and saw this...

I do not like snakes.  I don't scream and act like a crazy when I see one, but my body gets very cold and I get goosebumps...and then I feel nauseous.  Nothing crazy though :)  Giving Suki the benefit of the doubt I thought to myself, "Surely she's not playing with a snake..."  I mean, come on, there is a perfectly good, colorful cat toy right there!  Why in the world would she be playing with a snake?  And despite there being a giant field behind our house AND our backyard having a garden, I like to believe that snakes live very, far, far away.  I decided to grow some balls and further investigate.  I went outside and discovered that yes, she was indeed playing with a snake.

Lovely. 

So I ran back inside and continued to watch her bite at, pounce on, and play hacky sac with it for at least an hour.  Don't ask me why I watched, because I definitely couldn't tell you.  It was very disturbing.   I watched this without throwing up and I did not cry while telling Dan, so I was pretty proud of myself last night.

Today, however, is a different story.  Adalee came out of her room screaming her head off, crying that there was a snake in her closet.  I immediately felt my body turn to ice and shivers shoot down my arms.  As absolutely RIDICULOUS it would be for an actual snake to be in her closet I somehow managed to come up with some ways for this to be possibile...

Perhaps Suki dragged the "dead" snake into the house and it had slithered into her closet... or perhaps she brought in the dead snake and it was, in fact, dead.  And there is now a nasty, decomposing, dead snake in her closet

-OR-

(and this is where I really started to lose my mind and realized that my fear of snakes may be greater than I had originally thought)...

Perhaps Suki ingested the whole "dead" snake (somehow keeping the entire body intact)  and when she came into the house it slithered out of her butt (or mouth,doesn't really matter which) and is now in the closet, waiting...ready to attack.

OR

If it was, in fact, dead.  She ingested the dead snake (intact, of course) and pooped it into Adalee's closet.

Yes, I realize the absurdity of these "possibilities".  I should have just gone into the closet and showed Adalee there was no snake.  But instead, I calmly told Adalee that there was no snake in her closet and to stop saying such silly things.  When she wanted me to go look,  I told her that the idea of a snake being in her closet was so absurd that I would not go look.  She needed to stop being a baby and go look for herself (I'm terrible)  It's been 5 hours and neither of us have gone into the closet.  I'm waiting for Dan to get home.